I don't have to ask permission to call you buttfinger, but I won't. Because I'm nice.
Besides, if I was gonna to call you anything, it'd be fumbles. Much cuter.
[He grins, and sips his coffee. What's the point in having people under your command if you can't tease the hell out of them? Sure there's the whole leadership, teamwork, and support angle, but there's definitely a taking the piss angle, too. And that angle might be John's favourite.]
Yeah, didn't think so. From what I've heard you guys had it pretty rough. That wasn't my experience, but it's not unheard of where I'm from. Child soldiers. Innocent people forced into fighting a monster's war for them. I had a choice, but not everyone did.
Some crap seems to stay the same, no matter which galaxy you're in.
[ He's not sure if he's relieved to hear all that or not.
Some of it, he figures, is obvious enough in the way he is, the way he works. It follows him whether he likes it or not. Some of it John could have heard from Poe. A fair heads up to a commanding officer. Maybe from Chyler, who he didn't swear to secrecy or anything.
Some of it isn't anyone else's to tell. In any case he'd rather not retread old ground. Time to hope for the best and assume the worst. Finn looks down, flexes his jaw. ]
Enough to put two and two together. I know you came from a bad place under a bunch of assholes, and you deserve better.
You at least deserve to make your own choices.
[Another sip of his coffee. Trying to keep this casual for both of them.
John isn't the most emotionally revealing man, but if Finn thinks he catches John's eyes going hard for just a moment, a spark of something hit and dark in them as he looks across the room and not at Finn, he wouldn't be wrong.
A breath, and the moment passes. Gone, but not forgotten. If John had his way he'd blow the First Order out of existence.
Except it's never that simple, is it? Because the First Order is made up of people like Finn.]
For what it's worth, I don't care where you're from. Only what you choose to do, going forward.
You're one of my guys now. That means it's my job to back you up no matter what. Remember?
[ Finn, who is never good at being casual, doesn't bother pretending to be when he looks back up. His face softens like he does it for a living.
He tries to control who knows. Who finds out. He doesn't want people he's met to hear it and think worse of him. Or, god forbid, better of him. It feels like being less of a person either way.
John doesn't leave room for wondering. Better that way. Better straightforward. Doesn't leave time for dread to sink in and spread, for the resigned expectation that what was enough yesterday won't be enough anymore after this. ]
Right. [ Normally he's the one who ends up saying that kind of thing to someone. "We're a team, we're in this together." A lot of the people he knows here, the ones he cares about most, they're used to having to stand on their own or having to hold themselves apart somehow. Have their own hangups about asking for help. He doesn't know the feeling.
Everything good he's ever managed, he only managed because he wasn't alone.
It's weird being on the other end of the sentiment. His first instinct is to think it sounds nice and to move on without putting any faith to it, and his second instinct is to be ashamed that the first instinct keeps rearing its head, regardless of the fact that John's never done anything to him or to Chyler to merit the suspicion.
It means a lot to hear that, still. Either way. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. ]
I made my choice. I found better. Pretty sure I wouldn't be here if I hadn't.
[ Not that he thinks RR-1 is a part of 'better' or anything shut up. He's very serious and stoic.
He doesn't let "deserving" factor into anything if he can help it. That's a slippery slope for anyone who's promised any of their friends that they're trying to be kind to themselves. ]
[Finn softens, John softens too. It's hard not to care about Finn. He's a good kid, and John's always had a weakness for though. Finn reminds him of Aiden in so many ways. In the skeptical tilt of his head, careful optimism, and fierce loyalty.
He leans forward in his chair, elbows resting on the desk, jaw in the palm of his hand.]
I've been meaning to ask you, how've you been liking this kind of work, and being on the team? Questions, concerns, or whatever. You don't have to have an opinion, but if you do I'd like to hear it.
I think we've been doing pretty well so far, given our limited resources and manpower, but I don't always see everything.
[ John "not actively trying to care and going full ride-or-die in a matter of weeks anyway" Sheppard in motion.
If there's one thing to be said for living with Poe Dameron as long as he has here, it's that Finn is used to being caught off-guard by seemingly innocuous things. He thought he was totally used to it and prepared to expect it at any moment, once. And he was wrong. He hasn't even started trying to tell himself he's used to getting caught off-guard by John yet.
And the line of questioning certainly catches him off-guard. Not so much because it doesn't seem like the kind of thing John would do. He asked for opinions the first day they met. It's more because Finn's never been asked anything like this before.
First Order aside, even the Resistance never got around to actually... asking if he wanted to join up or stay with them. How he was liking it or whatever. There were a lot of assumptions made and a lot of things that just happened. ]
This is a good team. We work well together. Pretty sure you know that already. [ John absolutely already thinks this is a good team. Finn's calling that one like he sees it.
He doesn't shift to match John's change in posture. Just keeps contemplating him. ]
I like the work. Keeps things interesting. I didn't get raised for covert ops, so it's been good to get in the extra training and experience. I think Chyler's good. A lot of people would waste their time using kid gloves or go overboard trying to grind down what's good about her. Haven't seen you hit either of those walls yet.
[ Look. His standards for his own environment vary by day and circumstance. His standards for the treatment of Chyler Silva are high and on full blast at all times. He was on her team before he knew John Sheppard existed. Another one of those different-but-the-same people he's met here, who he catches impossible to define reflections and understandings with.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-16 05:26 am (UTC)Besides, if I was gonna to call you anything, it'd be fumbles. Much cuter.
[He grins, and sips his coffee. What's the point in having people under your command if you can't tease the hell out of them? Sure there's the whole leadership, teamwork, and support angle, but there's definitely a taking the piss angle, too. And that angle might be John's favourite.]
Yeah, didn't think so. From what I've heard you guys had it pretty rough. That wasn't my experience, but it's not unheard of where I'm from. Child soldiers. Innocent people forced into fighting a monster's war for them. I had a choice, but not everyone did.
Some crap seems to stay the same, no matter which galaxy you're in.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-16 10:09 am (UTC)Some of it, he figures, is obvious enough in the way he is, the way he works. It follows him whether he likes it or not. Some of it John could have heard from Poe. A fair heads up to a commanding officer. Maybe from Chyler, who he didn't swear to secrecy or anything.
Some of it isn't anyone else's to tell. In any case he'd rather not retread old ground. Time to hope for the best and assume the worst. Finn looks down, flexes his jaw. ]
Exactly how much have you heard?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-16 02:43 pm (UTC)You at least deserve to make your own choices.
[Another sip of his coffee. Trying to keep this casual for both of them.
John isn't the most emotionally revealing man, but if Finn thinks he catches John's eyes going hard for just a moment, a spark of something hit and dark in them as he looks across the room and not at Finn, he wouldn't be wrong.
A breath, and the moment passes. Gone, but not forgotten. If John had his way he'd blow the First Order out of existence.
Except it's never that simple, is it? Because the First Order is made up of people like Finn.]
For what it's worth, I don't care where you're from. Only what you choose to do, going forward.
You're one of my guys now. That means it's my job to back you up no matter what. Remember?
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-17 11:57 pm (UTC)He tries to control who knows. Who finds out. He doesn't want people he's met to hear it and think worse of him. Or, god forbid, better of him. It feels like being less of a person either way.
John doesn't leave room for wondering. Better that way. Better straightforward. Doesn't leave time for dread to sink in and spread, for the resigned expectation that what was enough yesterday won't be enough anymore after this. ]
Right. [ Normally he's the one who ends up saying that kind of thing to someone. "We're a team, we're in this together." A lot of the people he knows here, the ones he cares about most, they're used to having to stand on their own or having to hold themselves apart somehow. Have their own hangups about asking for help. He doesn't know the feeling.
Everything good he's ever managed, he only managed because he wasn't alone.
It's weird being on the other end of the sentiment. His first instinct is to think it sounds nice and to move on without putting any faith to it, and his second instinct is to be ashamed that the first instinct keeps rearing its head, regardless of the fact that John's never done anything to him or to Chyler to merit the suspicion.
It means a lot to hear that, still. Either way. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. ]
I made my choice. I found better. Pretty sure I wouldn't be here if I hadn't.
[ Not that he thinks RR-1 is a part of 'better' or anything shut up. He's very serious and stoic.
He doesn't let "deserving" factor into anything if he can help it. That's a slippery slope for anyone who's promised any of their friends that they're trying to be kind to themselves. ]
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-22 09:32 pm (UTC)[Finn softens, John softens too. It's hard not to care about Finn. He's a good kid, and John's always had a weakness for though. Finn reminds him of Aiden in so many ways. In the skeptical tilt of his head, careful optimism, and fierce loyalty.
He leans forward in his chair, elbows resting on the desk, jaw in the palm of his hand.]
I've been meaning to ask you, how've you been liking this kind of work, and being on the team? Questions, concerns, or whatever. You don't have to have an opinion, but if you do I'd like to hear it.
I think we've been doing pretty well so far, given our limited resources and manpower, but I don't always see everything.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-04-24 03:17 am (UTC)If there's one thing to be said for living with Poe Dameron as long as he has here, it's that Finn is used to being caught off-guard by seemingly innocuous things. He thought he was totally used to it and prepared to expect it at any moment, once. And he was wrong. He hasn't even started trying to tell himself he's used to getting caught off-guard by John yet.
And the line of questioning certainly catches him off-guard. Not so much because it doesn't seem like the kind of thing John would do. He asked for opinions the first day they met. It's more because Finn's never been asked anything like this before.
First Order aside, even the Resistance never got around to actually... asking if he wanted to join up or stay with them. How he was liking it or whatever. There were a lot of assumptions made and a lot of things that just happened. ]
This is a good team. We work well together. Pretty sure you know that already. [ John absolutely already thinks this is a good team. Finn's calling that one like he sees it.
He doesn't shift to match John's change in posture. Just keeps contemplating him. ]
I like the work. Keeps things interesting. I didn't get raised for covert ops, so it's been good to get in the extra training and experience. I think Chyler's good. A lot of people would waste their time using kid gloves or go overboard trying to grind down what's good about her. Haven't seen you hit either of those walls yet.
[ Look. His standards for his own environment vary by day and circumstance. His standards for the treatment of Chyler Silva are high and on full blast at all times. He was on her team before he knew John Sheppard existed. Another one of those different-but-the-same people he's met here, who he catches impossible to define reflections and understandings with.
She can turn out better than him.
Finn doesn't take that lightly. ]