[John doesn't have an answer to that question. He still doesn't know what Poe sees in him, or why he wouldn't want someone else. All that comes to mind is they're both screwed up in similar ways.
Poe calls him beautiful sometimes, and John wants to believe him, but he's not sure he can. John knows that's his own damage. He's got abandonment issues. Daddy issue. Mommy issues. Typical veteran issues. A lifetime of difficulty opening up to people, and of being abandoned by the people he loves, after disappointing or scaring them away.
John looks up, at Poe's face when he's not looking at him. No longer smiling and excited. He can't help but feel like he's ruined something. Poe's been having a rough few weeks, John knows that. He deserves to let loose, and live a little.
He reaches out, catching Poe's hand, and thumbs over the smear of powder on his inner wrist. He offers up an apologetic smile, giving his arm a tug.]
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Date: 2018-03-05 12:43 am (UTC)Poe calls him beautiful sometimes, and John wants to believe him, but he's not sure he can. John knows that's his own damage. He's got abandonment issues. Daddy issue. Mommy issues. Typical veteran issues. A lifetime of difficulty opening up to people, and of being abandoned by the people he loves, after disappointing or scaring them away.
John looks up, at Poe's face when he's not looking at him. No longer smiling and excited. He can't help but feel like he's ruined something. Poe's been having a rough few weeks, John knows that. He deserves to let loose, and live a little.
He reaches out, catching Poe's hand, and thumbs over the smear of powder on his inner wrist. He offers up an apologetic smile, giving his arm a tug.]
I'm sorry. I want to try it for you, okay?