[A deep breath, arms folded across his chest. He exhales, rolls his shoulders, and rocks back on his heels. Poe will know it as his "I don't want to do this but I guess I'm doing it anyway" posture.]
I think you might like the idea of being together more than you like actually being together. That you only really... want me when you don't have me. That we'll get into something, and then you'll realize you made a mistake and change your mind.
[Because Poe will remember why he doesn't actually love John, and all of his many, many flaws, once he's back with him.
The corner of his mouth twitches. Now John can't look at Poe. He's staring somewhere past him, into the distance. Safer than the present moment.]
I don't know if you want to be with me, or you just don't want to feel guilty about not being with me, or if all this is because you're struggling here, and you're looking for a repeat of what we had in Riverview. Consciously or subconsciously.
[He rubs at one bicep through the sleeve of his uniform.]
I don't know if any of it matters, because we could die in this mess, or you could go home again-- no one knows what the hell is going on. So. There you have it.
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Date: 2019-06-09 03:27 am (UTC)[A deep breath, arms folded across his chest. He exhales, rolls his shoulders, and rocks back on his heels. Poe will know it as his "I don't want to do this but I guess I'm doing it anyway" posture.]
I think you might like the idea of being together more than you like actually being together. That you only really... want me when you don't have me. That we'll get into something, and then you'll realize you made a mistake and change your mind.
[Because Poe will remember why he doesn't actually love John, and all of his many, many flaws, once he's back with him.
The corner of his mouth twitches. Now John can't look at Poe. He's staring somewhere past him, into the distance. Safer than the present moment.]
I don't know if you want to be with me, or you just don't want to feel guilty about not being with me, or if all this is because you're struggling here, and you're looking for a repeat of what we had in Riverview. Consciously or subconsciously.
[He rubs at one bicep through the sleeve of his uniform.]
I don't know if any of it matters, because we could die in this mess, or you could go home again-- no one knows what the hell is going on. So. There you have it.