[John doesn't know either. He still loves Poe. That much, he knows.
Whether or not they can or should be together, and what that would look like, is something he's spent a significant amount of time trying not to think about.
Sometimes you love a person, but you don't mesh with in that way. That's life.
Except John can't seem to mesh with anyone, regardless of the relationship. He couldn't with his father and brother. Or his ex-wife. He couldn't even bring himself to try with Teyla, knowing it would probably go bad and ruin the team dynamic. John thought Poe was different, that maybe he would be the one, right when the idea of 'the one' was starting to sound more like fantasy than reality, but he was wrong.
John reached out, and Poe slapped him away. That hurt. Then he came back at John with a confession of his love when it was too late to matter. That hurt too.
As badly as John wants to hear Poe say that again, he's been twice bitten. Logic says he would be opening himself up to another world of hurt. This one worse than the last. What kind of idiot would take those odds?
The answer is this idiot.
Looking into Poe's eyes, so dark and wet John can almost see himself in them, he doesn't disbelieve him, but that's always been the problem. Poe means it in the moment, and John always believes him. Then the moment passes.
Poe's in a state right now, scared, vulnerable, more than a little screwed up, what wouldn't he say for human contact? This moment feels a lot like their first moment, when Poe was drunk and hurting, and John had to fight down his every mortal urge to put Poe to bed.
John takes a deep breath. Squeezes Poe's shoulder.]
What I don't want is for you to worry about that right now. Shelve it. Come back to it later when you're in a better state of mind. We've got bigger problems, and you need to worry about yourself first.
no subject
Whether or not they can or should be together, and what that would look like, is something he's spent a significant amount of time trying not to think about.
Sometimes you love a person, but you don't mesh with in that way. That's life.
Except John can't seem to mesh with anyone, regardless of the relationship. He couldn't with his father and brother. Or his ex-wife. He couldn't even bring himself to try with Teyla, knowing it would probably go bad and ruin the team dynamic. John thought Poe was different, that maybe he would be the one, right when the idea of 'the one' was starting to sound more like fantasy than reality, but he was wrong.
John reached out, and Poe slapped him away. That hurt. Then he came back at John with a confession of his love when it was too late to matter. That hurt too.
As badly as John wants to hear Poe say that again, he's been twice bitten. Logic says he would be opening himself up to another world of hurt. This one worse than the last. What kind of idiot would take those odds?
The answer is this idiot.
Looking into Poe's eyes, so dark and wet John can almost see himself in them, he doesn't disbelieve him, but that's always been the problem. Poe means it in the moment, and John always believes him. Then the moment passes.
Poe's in a state right now, scared, vulnerable, more than a little screwed up, what wouldn't he say for human contact? This moment feels a lot like their first moment, when Poe was drunk and hurting, and John had to fight down his every mortal urge to put Poe to bed.
John takes a deep breath. Squeezes Poe's shoulder.]
What I don't want is for you to worry about that right now. Shelve it. Come back to it later when you're in a better state of mind. We've got bigger problems, and you need to worry about yourself first.
Nothing means anything if you die out there.