[ And that's it: he breaks. He feels himself sliding down the wall, curling in on himself, like an idiot, like a freaking baby, covering his face like that will hide the fact he's weeping.
He should have gone to Finn. It would have been easier to confess it all to Finn. Why is he even here? Why can't he just be done with this man, why can't he just let John go?
God, he's not a commander. He's unfit, he can't even keep himself together, he can't lead for shit. He's been trying, he's been trying, but there's no one for him to lead, there's nothing but fights that aren't his. And this fight, this fight, with these corrupt gods surviving on kidnapped people they torture month by month as the better of two evils. He would kill the Null and the gods if he could.
He would make it hurt. ]
Fuck. [ He digs his hands into his hair and leans forward, quiet voice slowly climbing in volume, still crying. ]
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
[ Poe rests his face on his knees and starts to sob. ]
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(no subject)
Date: 2019-05-30 05:30 pm (UTC)He should have gone to Finn. It would have been easier to confess it all to Finn. Why is he even here? Why can't he just be done with this man, why can't he just let John go?
God, he's not a commander. He's unfit, he can't even keep himself together, he can't lead for shit. He's been trying, he's been trying, but there's no one for him to lead, there's nothing but fights that aren't his. And this fight, this fight, with these corrupt gods surviving on kidnapped people they torture month by month as the better of two evils. He would kill the Null and the gods if he could.
He would make it hurt. ]
Fuck. [ He digs his hands into his hair and leans forward, quiet voice slowly climbing in volume, still crying. ]
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
[ Poe rests his face on his knees and starts to sob. ]